You should never have to feel alone
going through this journey.

Questioning Yourself

Why do I have these overwhelming emotions that debilitate me? What if people will judge me if I tell them how I feel? How do I stop feeling this way? How do I break the pattern of sabotaging myself? Was what I went through really my fault?

These are all common questions I hear from individuals who are in or just getting out of a traumatic experience. They come into therapy questioning themselves, their relationships, and at times even the world. These or similar questions may be bombarding your thoughts.

Tammy’s Story

Tammy (not her real name) came into therapy asking these same questions. She constantly fought with the internal negative self talk that seemed like it would never cease. Many of her family members told her that she just needed to get over it, but she knew that it was not going to be that easy. She also questioned herself at times why it wasn’t easy for her to just get over the trauma that had happened years ago.

This intense conflict guided Tammy into therapy. When she first came into my office, she was overwhelmed and didn’t even know where to begin. We sat down together and processed through what her goals were: finally confronting the trauma that had plagued her for years, to love and accept herself, to find joy in her day to day again.

Coping Skills Tammy Learned

As we went through the therapy process, I helped Tammy learn coping skills to help her get through the day when she felt overwhelmed and anxious.

I also helped her to develop a plan that would help increase her selfcare and allowed her to get through her day to day.

As time progressed, Tammy weighed the pros and cons to build boundaries with her unhealthy family members. In the end, she decided to voice her boundaries with them, and I provided her resources and support to help her achieve this goal.

Overcoming the Past

After a few sessions of preparing Tammy, She and I felt that she was ready to start reprocessing through her trauma memories by using EMDR. She was nervous at first but the more and more she did EMDR with me the more comfortable she got.

Some memories were harder than others to reprocess because of the type of trauma she went through. When Tammy found it hard to reprocess through a memory, I would help her find a way to help her unstick the memory. As we continued through EMDR she learned to accept the parts of herself that were hurt by her trauma and no longer felt like she needed to avoid her emotions.

Empowerment

Tammy started to feel more empowered and capable of achieving her other goals: building healthy relationships with others, having more confidence in her decisions, and managing her stress and anxiety better. Her journey was not yet over, though.

As we progressed in therapy, Tammy noticed that there were times when she emotions felt like they were taking over. She expressed how she was worried about these different triggers in her day to day.

Tammy and I made a list of the situations that she felt were still triggering and used EMDR to help her feel less affected by the triggers. After we processed through her triggers, Tammy reported how she didn’t feel over powered by her emotions anymore. She could now be in those situations and no longer feel triggered.

Through the process of EMDR and all the work we did in therapy, Tammy and I were able to guide her to discover the truth about herself and helped her to start loving and accepting herself. We were able to transform her thinking from self-defeating thoughts to self-encouraging. This is when I noticed Tammy starting to smile more.

Today Tammy is a strong, courageous woman who has built a safe and healthy life for her and her children. She is not alone in this; many many people come out of trauma every day and learn to have a fulfilling life.